


Missing You

by SaadieStuff



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Established Relationship, Future fic or canon divergent, Jalec Secret Santa 2018, M/M, Parabatai, Parabatai Bond, Silly, Smutty, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 10:52:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17160659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaadieStuff/pseuds/SaadieStuff
Summary: Set sometime in the future - A reunion after some months apart...





	Missing You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [willowsmarika](https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowsmarika/gifts).



> My gift for willowsmarika in the Jalec Secret Santa 2018!
> 
> I’m so sorry this is late!! I thought I could finish this weekend/Christmas eve but I ended up having to work. Then I scrapped my entire idea… so here is my offering of a slightly silly/slightly angsty/slightly smutty ficlet! I hope you enjoy! :)

Alec feels strangely calm the moment he sets foot on the ground in Philadelphia on Christmas Eve. He has arrived to attend the annual Red & Green Ball, hosted by a coalition of a few werewolves and vampires who missed the Christmas traditions in which they’d partaken during their formerly mundane lives.

Alec worries over his newly relaxed state – enough to make it all but disappear – as he walks the block from the hidden portal spot to the hotel, but once he’s inside he’s utterly distracted by the incredibly gaudy Christmas decorations crowding the hall and filling the walls.

“Chancellor Lightwood, so good of you to come!” calls Steve, a vampire Alec knows from a joint committee. Jace had recommended Steve for the position.

“Please, call me Alec, in this… _informal_ setting…” Alec gestures around the room, “I know you like to keep politics out of this event.”

“Ah, is that why you’ve never graced us with your presence before? Afraid you were too serious for our pure Christmas fun?”

“Well, Christmas I only know from what I’ve seen in movies and store displays. And I’m not exactly known to be the life of a party,” Alec quips.

“No, I’m talking to wrong parabatai aren’t I?” Steve says with a wink.

Alec smiles weakly, bothered to think that Jace may have put up his care-free hard-partying shield for his new friends in Vancouver.

“Is he here yet?” Steve asks glancing around.

Then it dawns on Alec – that feeling he’d had earlier. And he knows.

“Jace is close,” Alec rasps, scarcely of his own volition – _closer than he’s been in months_ – heart racing, he tries not to stammer, “In town, I mean. But not h-here yet. Are—are you sure he’s coming?” It stings to think Jace could get a portal pass for this event but _not_ to visit him in Idris, but overwhelming that feeling is one of anticipation of both joy and pain.

Steve doesn’t seem to notice Alec’s sudden shift to an uneasy excitement.

“I’m certain he’s coming. I want to say his commander’s sister-in-law… or nephew’s wife…?” Steve shakes his head, “Anyways, some relation is a werewolf on the Ball’s planning committee so Jace’s commander was tasked with filling 10 seats. Jace’s entire squad was ‘ordered’ to attend.”

“Oh,” Alec says absently, finding himself instinctively diverting concentration to their bond, more than he has allowed himself in some time, reaching out - calling for - his parabatai, his lover.

They hadn’t wanted to be apart, but others had grown suspicious of their relationship over the years, and they’d feared the new post for Jace in Vancouver was a test of those suspicions – a test they’d failed too many times already. And the post was perfect for Jace – exactly what he needed and what he’d excel at – except that it meant leaving Alec behind in Idris for an entire year.

A long distance relationship had sounded easy enough after years of carrying on a secret one – but it had not been. The bond felt stretched somehow by the distance, all the pull hanging one last thread of a fraying rope, different than any strain on the bond they’d ever experienced before. The ache had grown only sharper when they’d so much as thought of the other, and it proved unsettling and dangerously distracting, leading their interaction to taper off – for the better, they’d decided, so their separation wouldn’t hurt so much. But deciding something does not make it so.

A waiter with a full tray propped on his shoulder interrupts Alec’s reflection. “Blood jello shot?” he asks, displaying the tray between Alec and Steve.

“Oh yes please!” says Steve, helping himself.

Alec waves the waiter off, “No thank you.” Given the decorating style, Alec thinks he should hardly be surprised that they’re serving something as classy as jello shots at this Ball. “Convenient that blood is festive,” he comes up with instead.

Steve chuckles, then slurps back his jello shot. “Oh dear!” he gurgles mid-swallow.

“What’s wrong?” Alec asks, looking alarmed.

“I do believe there has been a mix up with the blood jello shots and the candy-cane jello shots... This room smells so much of both scents I didn’t notice—I should probably—”

“Go tell someone,” Alec finishes for him as Steve speeds away.

\---

It’s both surprising _and_ expected, given the previously unreasoned warm tingle Jace had first felt some ten minutes ago while he and his squad had been pre-drinking in the bar across the street from the hotel – as soon Jace steps into the room, he feels Alec. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up, he feels safe and grounded, but a dull anxiety flares too.

Jace lags behind his squad, pretending to concentrate on the table seating chart, composing himself and summoning the willpower he will need to resist flinging himself into Alec’s arms with reckless abandon. _Maybe mild abandon is okay…_

“Fuck,” Jace mutters under his breath.

“What’s wrong mate?” Derek, a Shadowhunter from his squad asks.

“I can’t find our table,” Jace covers.

“Right there, twelve,” Derek points out.

\---

Alec is easy to spot as one of the taller men in the room, and Jace notices he’s looking around rather obviously. It’s only another few seconds before they lock eyes across the large ballroom. Their lips twitch involuntarily into matching smiles, and for a moment any apprehension fades.

Jace’s commander unceremoniously snaps him out of it by landing a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Jace, I’d like you to meet my mother-in-law, Mandy Deerer. She’s on the Ball’s planning committee.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jace says politely, “I’ve never been to this event before – clearly I’ve been missing out!”

“The room looks amazing,” Derek says in awe.

Mandy looks mildly disturbed by Derek’s complete sincerity. She turns to Jace, “I understand that you have more appreciation for mundane culture than does the average Shadowhunter?”

“I like to think so,” Jace answers.

“Then perhaps you’ll get the joke when I say this room is _meant_ to look like an ugly Christmas sweater.”

Jace laughs appropriately, though he’s hardly heard her over the quickening hum in his parabatai bond as behind him Alec navigates the room, striding closer and closer, pace never changing as though the sea of people has parted for him.

Finally, a gentle hand on Jace’s arm signals his arrival.

“ _Parabatai_ ,” Alec almost hisses.

Parabatai _._ Not _hey_ , or _Jace_. It had to be _parabatai._ And he had to say it in that private way that makes Jace go weak in the knees.

Jace whirls around and hugs Alec, ultimately having convinced himself that to _not_ hug his parabatai he hasn’t seen in months would in fact read as more suspicious. Still, he slaps Alec on the back with emphasis a few times for good measure both to keep up appearances and to stop himself from just squeezing him and maybe not being able to let go.

But they do, albeit reluctantly.

 “Alec!” Jace says excitedly, tone over-exaggerated, as he then holds Alec out at arm’s length, “What are you doing here?”

“The event has gotten larger and more significant and so the Clave decided to officially send a delegate this year,” Alec says steadily.

“We really appreciate that show of support!” Mandy says excitedly.

\---

They barely get to exchange words the rest of the cocktail hour, shuffled among people they have to meet and greet, and then hustled off to their own tables for several hours of dinner where they struggle to keep up with the conversation for the distracting crystal-clear flow of feelings between them. They’re actually grateful for the fact that each meal course is separated by a session of Christmas carols where they can let their minds wander to one another. And for the first time in months – that doesn’t hurt.

When it’s finally time for dancing, the lights are dimmed, the music begins to boom, and they make their way to each other again.

Shy smiles flicker between them when they’re close enough to touch, and unable to wait another moment, Alec slips his hand into Jace’s in the dense crowd. They let go as it thins, but Jace already knows where they’re going by the time they’ve made it that far, and they continue out into the corridor unguided.

“There’s an employee-only storage room far down the hall—” Alec begins.

“That you scoped out when you got up to go to the washroom during dinner?” Jace says with a knowing smirk, “Yeah, I did the same.”

Alec grins, but halts their progress after another few steps. “Wait, Jace, are we being reckless?” Alec whispers seriously, glancing around at the other guests milling in the hall.

“No need to be. You go. I’ll take another route, meet you there,” Jace says.

\---

Alec uses his head start to unlock the closet door with a rune, then to soundproof it, and to move some things around to make room in the small stall closet for the two to stand.

Jace arrives just as an open box of tinsel dumps its contents on Alec’s head as he tries to fit another box onto a shelf below.

Jace laughs softly at the scene as he shuts the door behind him and draws a locking rune. He turns around to find Alec brushing tinsel off his face, and out of his hair, flailing his elbows doing so when a knotted strand gets caught.

“Careful, love,” Jace says gently, closing the mere foot of distance between them and placing his hands on Alec’s arms to steady them.

Alec melts at his tone and freezes at his touch, somehow all at once.

They embrace, and it’s the type they both resisted earlier in the ballroom: a lingering hug where they squeeze tight, seeking as much contact as they can muster, able to feel their hearts first race to sync up, then slowing in unison.

“I missed you,” Alec says wearily.

“I missed you too, so much,” Jace whispers against Alec’s ear.

“We should talk,” Alec says, feeling brave with his face buried against Jace’s neck.

“We could talk on the phone.”

“But we don’t.”

“I know,” Jace sighs, and they sag apart, still holding on but able to look each other in the eyes.

“I don’t know how this happened. How we got to be so disconnected,” Alec says, dropping his gaze almost shamefully.

“We were hurting, and angry with the situation and...” Jace gulps, “Old habits… bottling things up…”

“Partying?” Alec suggests with a slight raised eyebrow.

“Some,” Jace admits, “I need the distraction when I’m not at work.”

“But work is good? Because you feel… well, maybe you’re just happy to see me,” Alec manages a smile.

“Work is incredible. It feels like I’m really making a difference. And I _need_ that. After everything… I need it,” Jace explains, “But I need you too, so can we just—fuck— I know we should talk but I just want—”

“To be as close as possible?” Alec finishes for him, hands already working to pull Jace’s dress shirt from his pants.

“Yeah,” Jace breathes, just before their mouths find each other.

\---

Clothes are quickly shed, and a stele clangs on the ground as it escapes Alec’s pocket.

“Gonna need that,” Jace gasps out between kisses.

“Are we?” Alec rasps, out of breath, and feeling suddenly very lonely and cold as Jace dives to the floor to retrieve the stele.

“Strength and flexibility, definitely,” Jace says seductively against Alec’s lips when he’s returned and raised on tip toes to pull Alec in while tracing the rune on Alec’s back.

“Mm, wait,” Alec hums, as Jace moves to the rune on his arm, “Can you—can you draw a new one?” Alec continues, and though Jace is already nodding with understanding and an awed reverence, Alec feels compelled to speak the words. “I miss how it feels… to have you mark me.”

A feral look flares in Jace’s eyes, and he keeps nodding as he captures Alec’s lips again, this time fast and desperate.

\---

“Relax, babe,” Alec whispers in Jace’s ear as he aligns his spit-slick cock to tease at Jace’s rim.

It’s easier said than done with Jace lifted up against the smooth door, nothing to hold on to but Alec, every muscle a little tense with the struggle, even with the strength rune.

“I’ve got you,” Alec soothes, and feels the resistance retreat, allowing his head to breach.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Jace groans, head falling back, “ _Alec,_ ” he calls out, already using what little leverage he has to begin to rock against Alec.

“Easy,” Alec cautions, trying to slow him, pressing him folded more firmly against the door.

“No," Jace grunts, "I want to still be feeling this tomorrow--" he gasps as Alec shifts  _just right_ inside, "--tomorrow when you _phone_ me.”

Alec laughs, but it quickly turns into a moan as he sinks all the way in.

\---

“I guess we should head back before we turn into pumpkins,” Jace says regretfully, some long minutes after they have collapsed on the floor, spent.

Alec frowns, puzzled, “Come on, even I know pumpkins are for Halloween, not Christmas.”

Jace snorts, shakes his head with amusement, and leans in to kiss him.


End file.
